thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
