He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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