Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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