she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
