I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
