You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
