i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
