This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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