we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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