I never want to see another naked old woman again.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
