what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
