it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
