Sponge bath it is.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize