Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize