Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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