I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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