So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
