So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
