You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
