i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
