bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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