I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
