lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize