so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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