one might say we're banned from that church
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
