Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
