we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
