I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
