Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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