Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Randomize
