I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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