Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize