We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
