So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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