my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
