She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
