Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
