yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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