ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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