I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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