Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
