i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
