But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
