So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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