Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
