theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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