Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize