So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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