fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
COCAINE IS GR8
True college students do jello shots in the library
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
