I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
