I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
