im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
