He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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