what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
