no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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