some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
