glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
