looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's the barista slut.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
