So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
