Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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