bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
