I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
