Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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